Waiting to hear news from their doctors on test results. Waiting to graduate. Waiting for the love of your life. Waiting to heal from an injury or surgery. Waiting to heal from a broken heart. Waiting to hear from a school. Waiting for reconciliation. Waiting to hear from a potential employer. Waiting for their marriage to get better. Waiting to hear from a long lost child. Waiting for financial relief. Waiting to be understood. Waiting for their prayers to be answered. Waiting for God.
It is not easy to be in this holding space of waiting. It can be a lonely, helpless, and even hopeless place to be. There is an eagerness to leave this space but you feel stuck. Or are you? Some friends and I were talking about this holding space and as we talked more about the loneliness, helplessness, and hopelessness that often arises from this holding space, we began to also talk about feeling held.
Held. That word felt so different in my soul than stuck. Held in the dictionary is defined as support, carry, grasp, sustain, remain secure and prevent from falling. Despite the difficulty of being in a holding space and waiting, even feeling stuck at times, we also felt held – supported, carried, sustained, secure. It does not necessarily take away the difficulty or the feeling of pain but it allowed us to be and move through the difficulty in a different way.
I recognize that God can sometimes feel so distant and we question His care in our suffering. What if that questioning and rawness of our feelings can be an opportunity to have deep, intimate conversations with God? What if part of the gift is recognizing the many ways we are held – supported, carried, sustained, secure - in the holding space?
May the Lord give us fresh eyes to see Him in the difficult holding spaces of our lives.