The Lord restarted a conversation with me in January while I was asking Him if He had a focus for me this year. As I asked Him what would be good for me to consider, faithfulness was the word that came to mind. It’s been an ongoing focus for me since then, which has led me to some meaningful observations and questions. I've pondered past moments when I experienced extraordinary freedom to believe in God’s faithfulness, as well as moments when I've doubted Him.
It’s confusing to realize that I both do and don’t believe. Will I ever not be surprised by the tensions that live within me? I've discovered that, in part, my belief has grown because I've experienced God’s faithfulness beyond what I could have imagined. My passion for reading biographies has been very helpful too. Through books I've encountered detailed stories of God’s miraculous demonstrations of faithfulness from around the world and throughout time.
I wonder then, why do I struggle with unbelief? One answer is my pride. I’m prone to doubt when things do not go as I expect them to go. As I considered that reality, I was struck by the arrogance it reveals. Who am I that I should know how things should go? Ugh. It’s painful to realize how many times I've been blind to my pride-filled perspectives. Sometimes my emotions, rather than my thoughts have revealed I doubt God’s faithfulness. Doubt results in my feeling anxious, helpless or even demanding. When I realize that’s how I've been living, I feel like I've been robbed of so much.
Since March, I've been living through a set of circumstances that could have caused me to question God’s faithfulness. But I’m not. I believe that this is a timely gift of grace from the Lord. No one is more surprised than me at how different this experience has been from other times of uncertainty. This time, I don’t feel trapped in my limited perspective. I've consented to the possibility that He might not answer my prayers the way I desire them to be answered. I've accepted the truth that He is faithful and good. While I will grieve and be disappointed if God and I are not in agreement, I’m confident that His judgment is better than mine and that His good purposes will be revealed over time.
God has been identifying and reframing the parts of my story that tempt me to lack trust in His faithfulness. I marvel at how the Lord went before me and prepared the way for me to enter into March and beyond. That’s a pretty cool demonstration of His faithfulness right there! He is so smart and so good!
Is God giving you a new perspective or a renewed confidence in Him this year? If so, what does that look like in your life? If you’d love to share that story with me, I’d love to have the opportunity to thank God with you. I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Blessings to you!
Psalm 25:8-10 (NLT)
The Lord is good and does what is right;
He shows the proper path to those who go astray;
He leads the humble in doing right;
Teaching them his way;
The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness