by Monica Romig Green

Introduction

The increasing use of technology in the last 20 years has had huge effects on how we live our everyday lives. With home computers, the internet, smart phones and tablets, constant connectivity to information and one another has become so commonplace that we may not always take the time to pause and consider how it has changed the way we engage with the world.

For spiritual direction, this connectivity has made connecting with directees easier than ever. Online networks like CSDA provide an accessible platform for directors to share their availability to directees and others. Personal websites allow for even more communication about one’s ministry. And video conferencing programs like Zoom or WebEx have made it possible for directors and directees in completely different locations to come together though online sessions.

All of these opportunities offer so many advantages, and as with all new possibilities, there also can be unintended or unforeseen consequences if we don’t take the time to prayerfully consider both the positive and negative impacts.

Because engaging in the online world as a spiritual director is still a relatively new thing, we are currently developing and discovering how best to work with these technologies. I offer these thoughts on the ethical implications of online use not so much as codified wisdom, but rather as part of an ongoing conversation that I’d like our community to continue for the edification of us all.

The Power of the Online Presence

Whether or not you choose to identify yourself online as a spiritual director, it’s important to consider that you already have a presence on the internet. Anyone can look you up, or “Google” you, to find out what information already exists about you. That information might be totally benign, but regardless, it’s simply important to be aware that a directee or potential directee has greater ability than at any time in history to find out information about you—without your awareness.

The reverse situation is also true. We as spiritual directors have the potential to find out more information regarding our directees than ever before without getting it from them directly.

For me, this brings up two important ethical questions:

  1. Are we prayerfully considering what kind of online presence we’re helping to create for ourselves? As we help to shape what others can see about us online, are we considering our calling as a spiritual director?
  2. How thoughtful are we about accessing information about our directees online? To what extent would this be appropriate and what would be going too far?

These issues are important to consider if you have any kind of intentional presence online, whether it’s your CSDA listing, a personal website, blogs, or social networking profile (Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, etc.). Are you just throwing opinions, photos and comments out there, or are you thinking about where and when these are appropriate and what impact they might have on others?

For instance, I set a personal policy that I will not connect with my current directees over social networking, such as Facebook or LinkedIn. I let my directees know this upfront verbally and include the policy in my covenant agreement with them. I have found that it helps me keep my Facebook presence a bit more causal and a place where I can turn to for personal support. The policy also keeps me from happening upon information about my directees that they might not choose to share with me personally in a direction session.

… a directee or potential directee has greater ability than at any time in history to find out information about you—without your awareness.

But even with that policy in place, I still try to take a moment to think before I hit enter on my posts, and consider if what I’m sharing is appropriate to the call that God has given me. I don’t want to hide who I am; but rather, I just want to be responsible in how I use the technology.

I know other spiritual directors who don’t share my social networking policy, who instead find being connected online to their directees to be a help to them and another way to pray for their directees. I know others who carefully use the privacy settings to choose who sees what posts. What is important is that we take the time to consider how God might be calling us to best love ourselves and our directees.

I’ve also engaged in several fascinating conversations with other spiritual directors about whether they feel that it’s appropriate to look up information about potential directees online. Some feel that whatever is online is already public, so looking up that kind of general information (where they work, if they blog, etc.) is a help to their discernment process. Personally, I tend to shy away from looking up information about someone online, choosing instead to let them present what they want to present to me during a session. Again, it is important to think, pray, and talk about your ethical calling in advance, so that your engagement with this information is done intentionally and in love.

Activity: Your Online Presence

Take a moment and “Google” your name. If you have a common name, add some identifying factor, such as the city you live in or the words “spiritual director.” Page through a couple of listings and see what you find.

What is your personal situation regarding social networking and your directees?

Offering Direction Online

The seeds of this article were planted when I was contacted by an CSDA member asking some questions about specifically about the ethics of offering spiritual direction session over the internet. His counselor friends felt that the greatest ethical concern with this kind of distance direction would be how to help someone who showed signs of being suicidal. A spiritual director’s ability to take practical steps to help someone in that situation would be greatly impinged if they weren’t physically present with the person in need. For this and other reasons, most professional counselors have opted to stay away from offering their services over the internet.

However, spiritual direction has long had a history of being offered both in person and at a distance. We know this through the spiritual direction letters that have come down to us from such trusted guides as Brother Lawrence, Martin Luther, and even the apostle Paul (if one considers his letters to Timothy as spiritual direction offerings). I believe that this history speaks to the differences between counseling and spiritual direction relationships, and also affords us the ability to offer direction in the quasi-present/quasi-distant way that it can be experienced online. Nevertheless, like all uses of technology, it is our responsibility to prayerfully think through the ethical implications and engage as responsibly with it as we can.

Spiritual directors who offer direction online need to be particularly mindful about issues of referral for their directees, whether it’s an issue of needing counseling for a simple interpersonal problem or something as serious as suicidal intent.

It’s important for a spiritual director to find a referral source in their directees’ local areas, should the need arise. We may not have a personal connection to the counselors, pastors, inner healing prayer groups, etc. available to our directees in their locale, but we should be able to make those connections with a little research. This is where internet technologies can be a great help. In our Members Only section, CSDA offers a list of national helplines that can connect a director to a directee’s local resources. It can also be helpful to take note of resources a directee mentions themselves. For example, I am directing several missionaries online. I am aware of that their sending organization has resources available to them, and should it becomes necessary, I could contact them for referral.

But perhaps the best way to consider this ethical issue is to consider the suitability of a directee for receiving online direction. When discerning whether or not to engage in an online relationship with a directee, it’s important for a director to always evaluate whether this person would be better helped by a director who could be physically present to them. If a potential directee seems emotionally fragile, or if the person simply gets distracted and isn’t able to focus as well through a screen, this might be a case where he or she would be better served by someone local.

Privacy in Online Conversations

Another ethical consideration in online direction is that most video conferencing platforms are not entirely secure. Not only is it possible for a hacker to eavesdrop on most online conversations, we’ve all recently learned that the National Security Agency (NSA) has been listening in to most of our online communications for years. Additionally, there are numerous apps and programs that could allow either party of an online conversation to record the conversation without the other party’s knowledge.

While this inability to completely secure an online conversation may not matter to a lot of people, I believe it is our ethical duty to note for our potential directees that while we do our best to keep our communication confidential, most video conferencing platforms are not secure for privacy.

When meeting a directee in person, a director does their best to secure the privacy of the physical space they are meeting in, by closing doors, using signs and even using sound screens so that the conversation won’t be overheard. Similarly, when working online, it is important for spiritual directors to take steps to ensure that their side of the conversation is not overheard. Additionally, it’s important to ask the directee to be mindful about privacy on their side of the screen. You can help them by asking them to find a private, uninterrupted space in which to meet with you. I recommend using headphones to keep the conversation more private for both parties.

Keeping Identities Private in Online Communications

Spiritual directors are called to keep the identities of their directees confidential. We take pains not to mention the names of our directees to others, even in the confidential space of supervision. This protection of identity can become more complicated in the online space.

While e-mail communication is convenient, it too is not secure. E-mail communications can be easily accessed by others, oftentimes completely unintentionally.

It’s important to consider your directees’ privacy in all your online communications. Does someone else use the device or program that you use to connect with your directees? If so, it’s ethical to use security options, like password access, to protect the areas that contain your directees’ identities. Sometimes families tend to share e-mail addresses or Skype accounts. In those cases, you could be inadvertently and inappropriately exposing your directee’s identities. Having a separate e-mail address and Skype account for your direction activities will immediately rectify this situation.

Personally, I use coded names for my directees in all of my online directories, both on e-mail and on my phone. It not only keeps someone else from seeing my directees’ identities, but it also reminds me that my relationship with that person is different and sacred.

Conclusion

As I mentioned at the beginning, this article is only the beginning of a much larger conversation that we all need to have about how our online engagement affects our work as spiritual directors. If this sparks more ideas or comments, please share about them in our private CSDA Members Group on Facebook. I’m sure the community will benefit from your thoughts and experience!